My dream of running started back in May of 2009. I jumped into my first Bolder Boulder after not training all winter and only a few runs in the Spring. Oh yeah and the two days before the race were spent with the stomach flu. Not exactly the ideal situation, but probably the most "fun" I have ever had in a race. I crossed the finish line completyly spent, I had no idea how tough the course was or even what a 10k felt like. My time was ok, I ran a 37:55 for 11th place female but man did it hurt! It wasn't so much what had happened in the last 38 minutes that changed me but more what was about to happen in a couple hours.
After I crossed the finish line I found Kevin and the boys so we could get a good seat to watch the Memorial ceremony after the races were over. We both thought our kids would love watching the jets, parachuting men and all of the festivities. As we sat in the stadium we ended up seeing the elite race come through. I remember hearing the crowd cheer these runners on as I watched Tera Moody and Alisha Williams run for team USA into the stadium. With goose bumps on my arms and tears in my eyes I looked at Kevin and said "I want to do that!" At the time I'm sure Kevin thought I was nuts. These women were running considerably faster than I had just run. Not to mention THEY were real runners I was just a mom who ran on the treadmill. The next day I went in to Doug Bell and told him I want to be in that race someday, I want to give running what I can and train. I had no idea at the time how this was about to change my life!
Fast forward to now. This weekend I will be running in the Bolder Boulder International team challenge! I am going to get to finish in that stadium with my family and friends cheering me on. I can't tell you how much this means to me! I know to a lot of people it sounds cheesy and goofy, but it's the whole reason I am who I am today. That one race changed my life! There have been races in the past 3 years that I have had the honor of being a part of. Many USA championship races and most important the USA Olympic Marathon trials. All of which have been amazing and a dream! But for me Bolder Boulder is the race I feel the most excited and honored to be a part of! It is the place I started, it's always been the thing I have strived to have the honor to be in, not to mention it's a local race! I know it's a little nuts. I mean who would choose to run at 11 in the heat verses at 7 am in the cool weather? Who would prefer to run with 20 or so women instead of a huge field that you can tuck into men to help you out? Chances are you could end up alone. Chances are you could end up at the back for a bit. The thing is is this. Running is full of ups and downs. I have had a year of so many amazing ups. Joining the American Distance Project has turned out to be the best decision I have ever made. No it wasn't easy! I had to disappoint some people and leave what I was comfortable with behind. But it has brought me to the place I stand in today. The last few weeks I have struggled with myself on a physical and mental level but once again God knew how to help me. On Monday I will run my little heart out and give 110% to finish in the stadium with all my loved ones around! This is the biggest "up" I could have! I feel like I have really given a lot to running in the last year. Lots of sweat, pain, tears and sacrifice from both me and my loved ones. Plus lots of work from my teammates, my training partner and coach. So in a weird way I feel like yes it is all worth it. It's the little victories in running and life in general that keep us plugging away!
I have so many people to be thankful to for all the joys and gifts I have been given in life! God has really blessed me with so much more than I ever dreamed of. I have an amazing supportive husband, two beautiful children, a brother who probably thinks I am 100% insane for doing this but still comes along to cheer me on, family who supports me, amazing training partner and friends, awesome sponsors in the Boulder Running Company, Adidas, and Powerbar, and freaking awesome teammates!!!! I do look back now and find it funny how it worked out. That day I looked at Alisha and Tera and idolized them! That hasn't changed a bit they are two of the most amazing runners, but now I have had the honor of being their teammmates. They have given me advice, encouragment and support. I'll still always look up to them as runners but now I look up to them as women and friends. It's funny how God will put you in the right place to help you make the decision to change your life forever!
Can't wait to see you all out there on Monday! You better believe I will be out there drinking my coffee cheering you all on to a great race! Than as I run no matter how the race turns out for me I will listen for all of my friends encouraging words and remember just how blessed I am to be in this race!!!!!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Mother's day
Since my mom died in a car crash nine years ago Mother's day has been painful. This weekend wasn't any different but it came at a perfect time for me to reflect. The day my mom died was the worst day of my life. No matter what people tell you time doesn't ease the pain and it doesn't get easier. Having a lot of extra time on Friday to think I reflected on how it changed my life. Yes I lost my best friend, the one person I had known for 22 years that was there for me no matter what. It seemed like nothing would ever be ok again. Truth is as hard as it is to deal with. There was at least some good that came from it. First and most important my 12 year old brother moved in with me and Kevin. At the time we were in way over our heads. We were newleyweds with a pre teen, but neither one of us had a second thought. Travis was meant to be with us. He was the first of three amazing boys I was given my three gifts from God. I was forced to grow up faster than I had planned but it made me who I am. It made me a fighter. All of you that were lucky enough to know my mom know she was a serious hard headed tough woman. She handed some of that down to me..........ok maybe a lot of the stubborn hard headed stuff comes from her :)
I could go on and on about my mom but I'll get to the point. Friday as I was thinking back to my DNF just two weeks before and forward to the race about to take place I decided to make a promise to myself. I was worried the 25k was too long for me right now. I had been focusing on speed in the 10k and the trials this was kind of in the opposite direction. I decided to do what my mom would want, go for it. No I wasn't going to run with Janet, but I was going to push 5:30's or whatever the chase pack was at and see what I could do. Was there a chance I could fall apart? Sure. Was there a chance I could pull something out and have a great one? Sure. The thing was my mom would have gone for it. That's just how she lived her life. My mom was amazing! She went for everything and didn't stop until she had it. I needed something to wash the nasty taste out of my mouth from the DNF. So when the gun went off Saturday morning I went for it. I hit mile one in 5:24 I believe. It felt super easy but mile one usually does. There was a bit of a headwind the first half of the race so my only thought was find a pack of guys and just sit on them. This made me surge a bit before mile 1 to catch the guys which in turn made me go ahead of some girls I know better than to run in front of. They always run smart and catch you. I thought they would go with me and when they didn't I was committed no looking back now. The pack of guys said they were going to run 5:30 sounded perfect to me. During mile 2 it felt very easy like I was going to trip over their feet. When we got to mile two at 5:43 I knew why......it was an easy pace. Here is where I thought again. What would mom do? Hmmm.....she wouldn't settle. So I got out of the pack and focused on the two guys ahead of me. I pushed the pace. Before I broke off Allie and Emily had joined our pack. Luckily when I decided to go they came with me. We pushed the next couple miles in 5:30. Felt good but it was still early. Shortly after four Both girls started to pull away. At first I freaked but when I realized I was still hitting 5:30's I relaxed. There was a lot of race left. I'll spare you all the details but during the rest of the race I got myself into 5th, was a couple seconds from 4th and making ground, got passed by a pack of 3 (yes these we're the girls I knew better than to not run with early), and got picked off around 13 by another girl. As the girls passed me I just remembered my promise to myself. Just give it your all who cares if some girls beat you and you fall apart. I kept focused on the positive. I was still running a pretty good pace, I came through the half marathon at my exact half PR, and while I was slowing down I wasn't completely falling apart. When doubts settled in I just had to remember this was not a planned race, all you can do is give all of you. I ended the race in 1:27:47 and 8th place. I crossed the finish line disappointed but washed it awayMADD made myself be happy with it. Eighth place doesn't sound great and sure I could have run a faster time if I had run smart and conservative. I executed the race as I had planned and just pushed myself. On Saturday it didn't work in my favor, but sometimes you have to take a risk. Greatness never comes from playing it safe.
Today I am just happy I ran the race the best that Wendy could on that day. After dropping out at Stanford I had a lot of doubts about myself and my running. Maybe I wasn't tough enough mentally to do this whole competitive running thing. What I realized today is I could never give it up. Not for a reason anyone would guess. Yes I love being competitive, finding out how hard I can push myself. Truth is also that I run to show my kids that giving up is NEVER an option. I also run because of my friends I get to,spend time with while we pound out hundreds of miles together. But the one reason I do it that will never let me stop and the reason I started even though I didn't know it at the time? It's the one time I feel close to my mom. No she wasn't a runner. In fact she would probably tell me I am out of my mind for doing it. For whatever reason when I lace up my shoes and hit the roads i am 100% with my mom. I feel at ease running in this beautiful state thinking and talking with her. Bad days I'll run and cry to her, good days I'll run and thank her. Even when I am out running with my friends I am always thinking of her. Ever since I have started running I've just felt her with me always pushing me to give just a little more of myself. When I was very little my older sister was sick. I can remember sitting next to her window while she laid in her crib. Birds would always come up to the window and make her smile. When my sister passed my mom would always tell me the birds out flying and chirping at me were my sisters way of telling me she loved me. I'll never forget that. Anytime I am out running and negative thoughts come in my head it never fails there will be a bird chirping at me. It puts me at ease because I know it's my moms way of telling me she loves me. Knowing my mom it's also her way sometimes of telling me to pull my head out of my butt and get those negative thoughts out.
So while mothers day seems almost impossible to deal with I know I have my mom here to help me every step of the way. I guess my long winded point of the story is that there is always something good that comes from the bad stuff. I lost my mom but in return gained more of my brother. Got even closer to my aunt, uncle and cousins who are now more like my parents and sisters. Plus I became the tougher version of myself. Oh and I got to skip that whole doing a lot of dumb stuff in your 20's that most people now regret :). Stanford was bad but it made me stop and evaluate why I do this. Why it's important to me. Plus I'm sure somewhere down the road I will realize I've learned a lot more from that one awful race. Until next time everyone tell your mom how much you love them and remember running is FUN!
I could go on and on about my mom but I'll get to the point. Friday as I was thinking back to my DNF just two weeks before and forward to the race about to take place I decided to make a promise to myself. I was worried the 25k was too long for me right now. I had been focusing on speed in the 10k and the trials this was kind of in the opposite direction. I decided to do what my mom would want, go for it. No I wasn't going to run with Janet, but I was going to push 5:30's or whatever the chase pack was at and see what I could do. Was there a chance I could fall apart? Sure. Was there a chance I could pull something out and have a great one? Sure. The thing was my mom would have gone for it. That's just how she lived her life. My mom was amazing! She went for everything and didn't stop until she had it. I needed something to wash the nasty taste out of my mouth from the DNF. So when the gun went off Saturday morning I went for it. I hit mile one in 5:24 I believe. It felt super easy but mile one usually does. There was a bit of a headwind the first half of the race so my only thought was find a pack of guys and just sit on them. This made me surge a bit before mile 1 to catch the guys which in turn made me go ahead of some girls I know better than to run in front of. They always run smart and catch you. I thought they would go with me and when they didn't I was committed no looking back now. The pack of guys said they were going to run 5:30 sounded perfect to me. During mile 2 it felt very easy like I was going to trip over their feet. When we got to mile two at 5:43 I knew why......it was an easy pace. Here is where I thought again. What would mom do? Hmmm.....she wouldn't settle. So I got out of the pack and focused on the two guys ahead of me. I pushed the pace. Before I broke off Allie and Emily had joined our pack. Luckily when I decided to go they came with me. We pushed the next couple miles in 5:30. Felt good but it was still early. Shortly after four Both girls started to pull away. At first I freaked but when I realized I was still hitting 5:30's I relaxed. There was a lot of race left. I'll spare you all the details but during the rest of the race I got myself into 5th, was a couple seconds from 4th and making ground, got passed by a pack of 3 (yes these we're the girls I knew better than to not run with early), and got picked off around 13 by another girl. As the girls passed me I just remembered my promise to myself. Just give it your all who cares if some girls beat you and you fall apart. I kept focused on the positive. I was still running a pretty good pace, I came through the half marathon at my exact half PR, and while I was slowing down I wasn't completely falling apart. When doubts settled in I just had to remember this was not a planned race, all you can do is give all of you. I ended the race in 1:27:47 and 8th place. I crossed the finish line disappointed but washed it awayMADD made myself be happy with it. Eighth place doesn't sound great and sure I could have run a faster time if I had run smart and conservative. I executed the race as I had planned and just pushed myself. On Saturday it didn't work in my favor, but sometimes you have to take a risk. Greatness never comes from playing it safe.
Today I am just happy I ran the race the best that Wendy could on that day. After dropping out at Stanford I had a lot of doubts about myself and my running. Maybe I wasn't tough enough mentally to do this whole competitive running thing. What I realized today is I could never give it up. Not for a reason anyone would guess. Yes I love being competitive, finding out how hard I can push myself. Truth is also that I run to show my kids that giving up is NEVER an option. I also run because of my friends I get to,spend time with while we pound out hundreds of miles together. But the one reason I do it that will never let me stop and the reason I started even though I didn't know it at the time? It's the one time I feel close to my mom. No she wasn't a runner. In fact she would probably tell me I am out of my mind for doing it. For whatever reason when I lace up my shoes and hit the roads i am 100% with my mom. I feel at ease running in this beautiful state thinking and talking with her. Bad days I'll run and cry to her, good days I'll run and thank her. Even when I am out running with my friends I am always thinking of her. Ever since I have started running I've just felt her with me always pushing me to give just a little more of myself. When I was very little my older sister was sick. I can remember sitting next to her window while she laid in her crib. Birds would always come up to the window and make her smile. When my sister passed my mom would always tell me the birds out flying and chirping at me were my sisters way of telling me she loved me. I'll never forget that. Anytime I am out running and negative thoughts come in my head it never fails there will be a bird chirping at me. It puts me at ease because I know it's my moms way of telling me she loves me. Knowing my mom it's also her way sometimes of telling me to pull my head out of my butt and get those negative thoughts out.
So while mothers day seems almost impossible to deal with I know I have my mom here to help me every step of the way. I guess my long winded point of the story is that there is always something good that comes from the bad stuff. I lost my mom but in return gained more of my brother. Got even closer to my aunt, uncle and cousins who are now more like my parents and sisters. Plus I became the tougher version of myself. Oh and I got to skip that whole doing a lot of dumb stuff in your 20's that most people now regret :). Stanford was bad but it made me stop and evaluate why I do this. Why it's important to me. Plus I'm sure somewhere down the road I will realize I've learned a lot more from that one awful race. Until next time everyone tell your mom how much you love them and remember running is FUN!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Who would have thought that silly old bear was so smart
"How can you get very far, If you don't know Who you are? How can you do what you ought, If you don't know What you've got? And if you don't know Which to do Of all the things in front of you, Than what you'll have when you are through Is just a mess without a clue Of all the best that can come true If you know What and Which and Who"
As you all know I have two kids and have read Winnie the Pooh I don't know how many times. What is even more ironic is my whole life my dad has called me Winnie the Pooh.
From my last blog you all know I had one of the hardest weeks ever last week when I had an awesome DNF at Peyton Jordan. After being crushed on Sunday I told myself I could have 24 hours to be sad and that was all. So it was perfect Monday morning when Scott took us down to the bay to run that he was having me do an 18 mile progression. My first thought was great I was so pissed off last night I didn't eat dinner, followed by no sleep followed by coffee and just a few bites of breakfast......this is going to be a sh** show. As most runs go for me when I am upset I ran way too fast in the beginning which was only made worse by the fact that I was at sea level, clipping off all miles under 6:30 and a few close to 6 flat. This was in the first half of my rn which is never a good idea. But all I was doing was thinking, thinking how the night before went so wrong. I didn't go out crazy fast I went to the back of the pack like I planned and was just hanging on. First mile was 5:11 thats close to what I thought it would be, second mile 5:15 but I just couldn't get clicking. I spent the first hour of my 18 trying to figure out how this could happen. How could I hit 6xmile at home at altitude all under 5:19 and this could feel so bad. I knew there was one explanation that was out of my control but even that shouldn't stop me. I finished the run which ended up being very painful and hot at the end. Got in the car and was struggling to talk to anyone without crying. Scott asked me what I wanted to do next how I was feeling and I felt so bad I couldn't really respond. Just the thought of how much I had let myself down sent me into tears. I did the best I could the rest of the day but just wanted to get home to my husband and kids so I could get a big hug cry it out and move on.
The thing about a DNF is it tears you up. As a runner we train ourselves to do the opposite of what I had just done. WE train to stick it out. put our bodies in pain and just push on. This is the whole reason we do workouts. Luckily I have good friends. On Tuesday I didn't even feel like running but Michael shot me a text.."Lunch run?" Ok sure...that night Corey "I'm gonna run at gymnastics." This is pretty much how my whole week played out. Which is good because I would have preferred to just sit on my butt and do nothing. Than I had a workout last week. 12x800......GREAT! Just what I want to do put myself in pain and prove I am out of shape. Than the opposite happened. I ran my fastest 800 meter workout yet. Which should have made me happy right? Nope... it just made me more pissed. If I had had a bad race because I was out of shape THAT would have made sense. Instead I am running 2:29-2:35 at altitude fairly easily. Now I am even more mad!!!!!
My way of coping last week with the anger was to go golfing a LOT! Turns out when I am a bad runner I am a pretty darn good golfer. As we are out golfing one night Kevin said maybe there is something to be learned from this. Usually you are so wound up about golfing and make mistakes, but now you are so pissed off about running you are a relaxed golfer and doing really well. HMMMMMM........the next day Scott asks me how I am doing, I explain I am fine taking up golfing to relax me. His response was Maybe there is a lesson to be learned here. Really? Do these two call one another up to gang up on me? After our discussion Scott told me I needed to go get the book "the Tao of Pooh". Sure why not I love to read maybe it will distract me. When I show up at the book store and pull the book out my first thought was SERIOUSLY? Is my head really shoved so far up my bum that I am given a reading assignment about Winnie the Pooh? Clearly I am not as patient as this darn bear. I would have chocked Eeyore a long time ago with his sad pathetic attitude. Than there is piglet really just leave me alone for five minutes. So this reading assignement should be interesting.
Funny enough I only get a few pages in when I come across my first EUREKA moment..... "Well" said Pooh "we keep looking for home and not finding it, so I thought that if we looked for this pit, we'd be sure not to find it, which would be a good thing, because then we might find something that we weren't looking for, which might be just what we were looking for really"
Yes I had something that may have slowed me down at PJ, but I think the bigger thing could have been my head. Immediatly when I found out what heat I got into I thought "I don't belong in this race I need to be in the second heat" "I can't run with these women" I need to hit 32:45 at least to guarantee my spot" "what pace is that, what do I need to hit a lap" Before the race had even gotten on the track I had already defeated myself. I need to be more like that silly old bear. Why did I do so good in the marathon? In my first crack at the 10,0000 on the track? Because I just ran with no expectations I just wanted to see what WENDY could do. Not how I could stack up with the others. I went out to those races thinking of finding my time. Just like Pooh is saying. I can't toe the line searching to prove I belong. I need to toe the line every time knowing I am in great shape. Who cares about pace or place lets just see what WENDY can do and the result will end up being a great time. The mental aspect of a race has always been my down fall. I am not going to sit here and tell you I have come to the relization that I belong with these women. I do feel like having started so late in life and feeling a little like I am out of my league is usually a strong thing for me. It means I go to practice and work that much harder feeling like I have a lot to do to catch up. In that aspect its a great thing BUT when it comes to race time it kills me. Maybe the physical thing slowing me down at PJ was there and when I knew it I just let myself give up. I just let myself say you are right you don't belong in this race. Now it's time to start believing in myself and going out looking for that "pit" instead of my time.
Moving forward I wasn't fully sure what to do. At first I thought I didn't want to try again and be crushed. But talking to my friend Dan helped me figure itout. Maybe I just didn't want to try again because I was too afraid of the pain if I didn't hit my time. In reality that time should not be a problem to hit. I am in the shape to do it. So Scott and I decided this week I will head out to Grand Rapid and run the USA 25k champs. In my head I am a little scared. I mean I ahve been training for a 10k this is more than double that. But Scott has never sent me to a race I am not prepared for so I am going in with an open mind. No time goal no place goal. What I want out of this race is to have fun. I need to have a road race to remember why I love this so much. Track races are a fun place to get a fast time and maybe a lot of people find them really fun because they are great at it. I just don't. I love to run fast but I love the roads. AFter a road race it's a big party with all these people that are just as crazy as you. A fun time to get to know one another and just relax. I am really looking forward to that. If I can come away with a little prize money that would be awesome but mostly I just want to have a good race experienceto erase the thoughts and doubts i my head right now. That being said I havent given up my dream. I want more than anything to be on the start line in Eugene so I will go to Portland the first week of June and give the 10,000 one more shot. Sounds like there will be a lot of wmen with the same goal in mind. Plus I hear Kim Conley will be there pacing us through 4 miles so it should be a good situation.
Until next time I am going to be working on getting the Eeyore out of me
"Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of us dont. That's all there is to it"
I'll start telling myself that I can!
As you all know I have two kids and have read Winnie the Pooh I don't know how many times. What is even more ironic is my whole life my dad has called me Winnie the Pooh.
From my last blog you all know I had one of the hardest weeks ever last week when I had an awesome DNF at Peyton Jordan. After being crushed on Sunday I told myself I could have 24 hours to be sad and that was all. So it was perfect Monday morning when Scott took us down to the bay to run that he was having me do an 18 mile progression. My first thought was great I was so pissed off last night I didn't eat dinner, followed by no sleep followed by coffee and just a few bites of breakfast......this is going to be a sh** show. As most runs go for me when I am upset I ran way too fast in the beginning which was only made worse by the fact that I was at sea level, clipping off all miles under 6:30 and a few close to 6 flat. This was in the first half of my rn which is never a good idea. But all I was doing was thinking, thinking how the night before went so wrong. I didn't go out crazy fast I went to the back of the pack like I planned and was just hanging on. First mile was 5:11 thats close to what I thought it would be, second mile 5:15 but I just couldn't get clicking. I spent the first hour of my 18 trying to figure out how this could happen. How could I hit 6xmile at home at altitude all under 5:19 and this could feel so bad. I knew there was one explanation that was out of my control but even that shouldn't stop me. I finished the run which ended up being very painful and hot at the end. Got in the car and was struggling to talk to anyone without crying. Scott asked me what I wanted to do next how I was feeling and I felt so bad I couldn't really respond. Just the thought of how much I had let myself down sent me into tears. I did the best I could the rest of the day but just wanted to get home to my husband and kids so I could get a big hug cry it out and move on.
The thing about a DNF is it tears you up. As a runner we train ourselves to do the opposite of what I had just done. WE train to stick it out. put our bodies in pain and just push on. This is the whole reason we do workouts. Luckily I have good friends. On Tuesday I didn't even feel like running but Michael shot me a text.."Lunch run?" Ok sure...that night Corey "I'm gonna run at gymnastics." This is pretty much how my whole week played out. Which is good because I would have preferred to just sit on my butt and do nothing. Than I had a workout last week. 12x800......GREAT! Just what I want to do put myself in pain and prove I am out of shape. Than the opposite happened. I ran my fastest 800 meter workout yet. Which should have made me happy right? Nope... it just made me more pissed. If I had had a bad race because I was out of shape THAT would have made sense. Instead I am running 2:29-2:35 at altitude fairly easily. Now I am even more mad!!!!!
My way of coping last week with the anger was to go golfing a LOT! Turns out when I am a bad runner I am a pretty darn good golfer. As we are out golfing one night Kevin said maybe there is something to be learned from this. Usually you are so wound up about golfing and make mistakes, but now you are so pissed off about running you are a relaxed golfer and doing really well. HMMMMMM........the next day Scott asks me how I am doing, I explain I am fine taking up golfing to relax me. His response was Maybe there is a lesson to be learned here. Really? Do these two call one another up to gang up on me? After our discussion Scott told me I needed to go get the book "the Tao of Pooh". Sure why not I love to read maybe it will distract me. When I show up at the book store and pull the book out my first thought was SERIOUSLY? Is my head really shoved so far up my bum that I am given a reading assignment about Winnie the Pooh? Clearly I am not as patient as this darn bear. I would have chocked Eeyore a long time ago with his sad pathetic attitude. Than there is piglet really just leave me alone for five minutes. So this reading assignement should be interesting.
Funny enough I only get a few pages in when I come across my first EUREKA moment..... "Well" said Pooh "we keep looking for home and not finding it, so I thought that if we looked for this pit, we'd be sure not to find it, which would be a good thing, because then we might find something that we weren't looking for, which might be just what we were looking for really"
Yes I had something that may have slowed me down at PJ, but I think the bigger thing could have been my head. Immediatly when I found out what heat I got into I thought "I don't belong in this race I need to be in the second heat" "I can't run with these women" I need to hit 32:45 at least to guarantee my spot" "what pace is that, what do I need to hit a lap" Before the race had even gotten on the track I had already defeated myself. I need to be more like that silly old bear. Why did I do so good in the marathon? In my first crack at the 10,0000 on the track? Because I just ran with no expectations I just wanted to see what WENDY could do. Not how I could stack up with the others. I went out to those races thinking of finding my time. Just like Pooh is saying. I can't toe the line searching to prove I belong. I need to toe the line every time knowing I am in great shape. Who cares about pace or place lets just see what WENDY can do and the result will end up being a great time. The mental aspect of a race has always been my down fall. I am not going to sit here and tell you I have come to the relization that I belong with these women. I do feel like having started so late in life and feeling a little like I am out of my league is usually a strong thing for me. It means I go to practice and work that much harder feeling like I have a lot to do to catch up. In that aspect its a great thing BUT when it comes to race time it kills me. Maybe the physical thing slowing me down at PJ was there and when I knew it I just let myself give up. I just let myself say you are right you don't belong in this race. Now it's time to start believing in myself and going out looking for that "pit" instead of my time.
Moving forward I wasn't fully sure what to do. At first I thought I didn't want to try again and be crushed. But talking to my friend Dan helped me figure itout. Maybe I just didn't want to try again because I was too afraid of the pain if I didn't hit my time. In reality that time should not be a problem to hit. I am in the shape to do it. So Scott and I decided this week I will head out to Grand Rapid and run the USA 25k champs. In my head I am a little scared. I mean I ahve been training for a 10k this is more than double that. But Scott has never sent me to a race I am not prepared for so I am going in with an open mind. No time goal no place goal. What I want out of this race is to have fun. I need to have a road race to remember why I love this so much. Track races are a fun place to get a fast time and maybe a lot of people find them really fun because they are great at it. I just don't. I love to run fast but I love the roads. AFter a road race it's a big party with all these people that are just as crazy as you. A fun time to get to know one another and just relax. I am really looking forward to that. If I can come away with a little prize money that would be awesome but mostly I just want to have a good race experienceto erase the thoughts and doubts i my head right now. That being said I havent given up my dream. I want more than anything to be on the start line in Eugene so I will go to Portland the first week of June and give the 10,000 one more shot. Sounds like there will be a lot of wmen with the same goal in mind. Plus I hear Kim Conley will be there pacing us through 4 miles so it should be a good situation.
Until next time I am going to be working on getting the Eeyore out of me
"Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of us dont. That's all there is to it"
I'll start telling myself that I can!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Heartbreak
So many words to describe what I'm feeling. Non of them positive. Disappointed, heartbroken, angry and sad. I promised myself I would NEVER dnf again! Sadly last night at I don't even know what lap I struggled with myself and pulled off the track. It's a horrible feeling to know I just quit. Should I have fought through and run a bad 10k? Maybe but maybe I also did the right thing. The funny thing about running is not everyday can be a good day.
Since I ran 32:57 three weeks ago training has been going amazing! I've had some of the best workouts that I have ever had. I was juiced to take 12 seconds off and guarantee my spot in the trials. I had little doubt I couldn't do it until about three laps in last night. So now what do I do? My time will not get me in to the trials. It's going to take the A standard this year which is so great for distance running in the US. For me however it's not good. As soon as I pulled myself off the track I called Levin and just started crying. I knew I didn't have another shot at it and felt like I let so many down. My family, training partners, teammates, friends, coach and probably more than anyone myself. I gave myself some time to just cry than I talked to Scott. I guess there is one more shot at the OR track meet in June. Now the question is, can I put my heart in it for another shot. I have 5 weeks to train hard and try. BUT I could also just hit the roads. I mean I ran a 32:57 that's a pretty solid effort. Maybe it's just best to move back to the roads. Hit the 25k and half champs. Try to make some money and just have fun. I'm in the best shape I have ever been in I need to take advantage of it. I'm just not sure what my heart really wants. I know I have the fitness to hit the standard but that doesn't mean I'll have a good day come time for OR. We are never guaranteed that. It's a tough decision especially when after the disappointment of last night I just want to sit in my bed and say to hell with running!
This has been a great string of races in the last year. I have pR'd in everything I tried. I shouldn't be so mad or upset but this one race will be what lingers in my head until I have another good one. I promised myself that no matter the outcome I would realize how blessed I am. That hasn't changed I know the sun still came up. I still have amazing friends and family! But I'm a perfectionist and having failed is hard! I'll take a day to think and decide what is best. If any of you have suggestions or know what you would do I would love to hear it! You know how it is right now I'm not thinking the positive of what could come :-)
On a much brighter note, I had a lot of friends run awesome last night! Alisha Williams ran over a minute PR with a low 32 to stamp her ticket. Nicole Aish has made a statement in her "comeback" race on the track last night to get the A for the 5k in under 15:35! Allie Keiffer (who I have never met in person but is now a CO girl ran under 32:30 to get her A and Alvina Begay had an awesome performance getting the A with a 32:34!!! Joseph Chirlee who is also a part of the ADP ran 28:16 just one second off of the A. So many amazing performances and I am so proud of them all!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Blessings!
The last couple of days I have done my best to avoid all talk related to this weekends race. Since I saw the entry list last week I have kindof been freaking out! There are a LOT of impressive scary names on there. It seems every time I get on twitter or Facebook someone is talking about how stacked the 10,000 and 5,000 are this weekend. Athletes are talking about trying for their A standards and press is talking about who they think will and who won't. I freak out before pretty much every race so all of this has only contributed. I want to hit the A standard, I want to get to the trials, I want to learn to compete with these women not just buy a ticket and watch the show! All of these thoughts and social media have made me think a lot this week about my blessings and why I started this sport.
First I strapped my babies into this crazy big jogging stroller to lose the pounds I had packed on eating cheetos during pregnancy. I'd go maybe a mile or two or jump on the treadmill at the gym for a bit while I was reading a magazine. Than one day I thought why not jump into the race for the Cure on July 4th? It was a good workout to do before the parade and before I knew it I was joining a weekly running group on Wednesdays. This group urged me to run the Bolder Boulder for the first time and I thought why not it looks fun. THIS is when I decided I wanted to be a runner! I promised to myself I would work as hard as I had to to see if I could ever get in that elite race! Lots of running, workouts, friends and races later here I am. I ran in the Olympic marathon trials and finished 12th and am shooting to make the trials in the 10,000 this summer. It seems pretty sureal!
When I get nervous and start to doubt myself I try to remember one thing. I have so many BLESSINGS!!!! As a runner it's so easy for us to get down on life when we have a bad workout, run or race. Than on the flip side its so easy for us to get so amped up when we have a great run, workout or race! It's a funny thing like that! So as a preview to my race I just want to remember how blessed I am. God has really treated me better than I could ever imagine! I have an amazing family! My husband supports me 110% which is sometimes a lot of work. I have these two amazing, perfect children! Yes they drive me crazy on occasion and sometimes all day long, but they are my life! I am able to do what I always wanted to do stay home and be a mom! It's the most rewarding job I could ever have! I have a great extended family who supports me like crazy even if they don't understand running and they think I am slighlty nuts! My in laws will watch my kids every day if I need them to so I can get a run or workout in. My aunt, uncle, dad step mom, cousins, sister, brothers are all here to push me along. I have some amazing sponsers who were here for me when I could barely break 18 for the 5k and are just as happy for me now that I am running Olympics trials times. Boulder Running Company (colorado Springs), Cody Hill and Adidas have made it possible for this girl to keep chasing a dream. Now I also have PowerBar who keeps me (and sometimes my kids) fueled for good performance. I often think about how my mom is up there pulling some strings and helping me out pushing me to keep plugging away. Than of course I have all of my friends who would do anything to help me reach my dreams. Poor Tyler even does some extreme workouts when I know he would prefer to be hanging out and relaxing. There is also my coach, Scott Simmons, who puts a lot of time and effort into my running.
So what I want to say and hope everyone remembers when they are having a bad race, bad day or just think life is not going their way. Even if I don't run 32:45 on Sunday I know I am the luckiest girl alive! I really am living the life of my dreams! Running is very important to me but I know that any day I could end up injured or not able to run. IF that were to happen I would still have this amazing life that God has blessed me with!
To end this kind of random blog our team is also doing our first fundraiser. I would really appreciate any support!!!!! Check it out!
https://charitybets.com/users/148-wendy-thomas
Here is to a 32:45 :)
Sunday, April 8, 2012
So I qualified?!?!!
So as you know from my previous blog going into this weekend I was not at all sure what to expect. I'm not much for putting my goals out for others to see but I can fess up now. The goal for the race was to hit 33:20. I'm not going to lie I kind of thought there was no way I was going to hit that. All day long poor Ali had to listen to me say how crazy this was, how I really didn't want to run on the track, on and on. My plan (Scott was not informed of this yet) was to run this stupid track thing, hope i hit 33:20 which would give me the Olympic Trials B standard and hope that was good enough to get me in the race. Lucky for me I got to go after my friends. Earlier in the day Janelle Martinez ran a great PR in the 5k 16:58 in her first track 5k for Oklahoma State. Than just before my race Ali got on the track to run a seriously inspiring 5k. She ran a PR of 15:24and finished 4th in a stacked field. Watching as much of her race as I could fit into my warm up and preparation was just what I needed! I got to see a bit of how it works on the track how she tucked into the inside and went along for the ride. I dont get to work out with Ali too mich since we live a couple hours apart but i do get to go down on occasion and hit some hard days with her. Just a week before the race i had the pleasure of doing our 400 workout together. So seeing Ali do so well helped calm me, the workout i did with her went great so i knew i was just as ready as she was. (Lets make it clear though i was ready for my pace no way in hell i can do her pace ;)) But most importantly as I was walking onto the track Ali grabbed me and said "you've got this, you are more prepared than you think." I didn't ask her later but I assume that comment came from the fact that neither one of us thought we were going to be able to go as fast as we wanted. This calmed me down and made me put my game face on!
I had asked Scott on my way to the track if I should aim for a certain pace. His response was just to get in the pack and not to worry about it just run the race. There were a lot of things I was nervous about, my ankle, running in spikes, being in a large group of girls, being able to handle the pace the list is pretty long. But as soon as the gun went off I zoned in. I did my typical get to the front (oops) and ran behind one girl the first couple laps. We ran 75 not exactly what I was expecting. It felt easy but in my head I was thinking oh man this could end up being a long night! Luckily we settled in and started hitting 78-80 for the next 19 laps. The whole time I thought I was at the end just keeping contact but after watching the video i see i was some place in the middle of about 20 girls. My only focus was to not look at the lap counter and keep contact for as long as I could. There was a lot of jostling so I made mistakes of slowing down and speeding up to avoid being involved. Next time I know I need to just hold my position to avoid wasting energy of speeding up and slowing down. I was feeling pretty comfortable the first 19 laps and promised myself I wouldn't count over all laps. I only allowed myself to count to a mile 1, 2, 3 look at watch at 4 to get mile split. First mile 5:14.....yikes, second mile, 5:16, oh man....3rd mile 5:16 5k 16:25 WHAT?!?!? This was a new 5k PR. I had to tell myself it was ok. You feel comfortable so the numbers don't matter! Just keep running.
With 6 laps to go the pack had dwindled down to about 14 (and I know this because the announcer said "the pack is picking it up with 6 to go" Ah thanks?!?!). It was insane to me! People started pushing and moving all around and than they started to pull away. In my head I thought ok you are starting to work now and you are about to lose them try to just focus. I did good holding my original plan pace of 80's for the next four and than a girl caught up to me so I glued to her and ran a 79 for lap 24. This is where 10,000 is fun! I allowed myself to look at the clock as I passed to start lap 25. I tried to do the math and just couldn't get my brain to work. At first I thought I was going to run a 33:10 so I picked it up thinking what? I ran all 5 first miles under 5:20 how In the world. But when I hit 200 I realized what I can get under 33? GO, Go, Go! My legs were tired and my body wanted to just hold pace but I finished with a 76 and a 32:57!!!! At the time I was pumped! I had just run 23 seconds faster than I thought was possible and I got the B standard almost the A!
This only lasted until I realized I was 13th. Place in the race really didn't matter to me what mattered to me was this......the 10k is not like the marathon. Hitting the B standard is only provisional, they allow24 women into the race on June 22nd and sadly 12 women just ran faster than me TONIGHT. There will be faster girls on April 29th on the same track, some women have already run faster than that last year :( So my mind set changed. I will be back for the meet on April 29th I want to run the A! Will it be easy? No way! Sure 12 seconds is only 1/2 a second a lap but honestly I think I gave all I had this weekend. Can two solid weeks of training mean 12 seconds? There are for sure things I can do to be a smarter track runner like not letting up, no surging when it's not necessary, and can I make that move next time? Watching the video I think why didn't you? Part of it was being scared, part of it was that maybe I wasn't ready. But for the first couple laps they only picked it up a bit. So maybe I should have pushed through the pain, but myself in that scary hurt locker and held on maybe a couple more before they started really hammering the pace down. I know for sure I was not ready to make the moves to the end but maybe if I could have held on a couple more laps someone else would have fallen off with me and helped keep me on pace. Don't get me wrong I am so pleased with my race! It was a 1:06 10k PR in my first ever attempt on the track I am only thinking of ways I can improve when I try again. And believe me I will be trying again! It's so funny what one race can do. I went in thinking I had no speed, I wasn't ready and had a bad attitude toward the track. Now I am hungry for those 12 seconds and my auto birth into the trials. Until than I'll train my little ass off and cross my fingers that my current time will be enough.
Before I cut out of this long blog I do have to give huge props to my coach Scott Simmons! I can not say enough for how far he has brought me and my teammates! I still have no idea why he took the chance that I could be good at this but I am so grateful! I don't know why not everyone is knocking down his door to coach them, I don't know that there is any secret ingredient to making a runner good other than really hard work, but I'm pretty sure Scott's play book has to belretry darn close to the best! Just some examples of my improvement since I started with him at the end of June 2011
5k- 16:52 down to 16:25 and that was just on my way to a 10k
10k-34:25 down to 32:57
Half marathon- 1:17:?? Down to 1:13:46
Marathon debut 2:34:25
Numbers don't lie he is doing something right :) and that's just my times. Ali has been getting great PR's Joseph Chirlee got a new 10k PR this weekend and I can not wait to see what Adrian, Shannon and Tommy do at Penn and Mt Sac. I have a feeling we are about to see a lot of new PR's in the American Distance Project!!!!
I had asked Scott on my way to the track if I should aim for a certain pace. His response was just to get in the pack and not to worry about it just run the race. There were a lot of things I was nervous about, my ankle, running in spikes, being in a large group of girls, being able to handle the pace the list is pretty long. But as soon as the gun went off I zoned in. I did my typical get to the front (oops) and ran behind one girl the first couple laps. We ran 75 not exactly what I was expecting. It felt easy but in my head I was thinking oh man this could end up being a long night! Luckily we settled in and started hitting 78-80 for the next 19 laps. The whole time I thought I was at the end just keeping contact but after watching the video i see i was some place in the middle of about 20 girls. My only focus was to not look at the lap counter and keep contact for as long as I could. There was a lot of jostling so I made mistakes of slowing down and speeding up to avoid being involved. Next time I know I need to just hold my position to avoid wasting energy of speeding up and slowing down. I was feeling pretty comfortable the first 19 laps and promised myself I wouldn't count over all laps. I only allowed myself to count to a mile 1, 2, 3 look at watch at 4 to get mile split. First mile 5:14.....yikes, second mile, 5:16, oh man....3rd mile 5:16 5k 16:25 WHAT?!?!? This was a new 5k PR. I had to tell myself it was ok. You feel comfortable so the numbers don't matter! Just keep running.
With 6 laps to go the pack had dwindled down to about 14 (and I know this because the announcer said "the pack is picking it up with 6 to go" Ah thanks?!?!). It was insane to me! People started pushing and moving all around and than they started to pull away. In my head I thought ok you are starting to work now and you are about to lose them try to just focus. I did good holding my original plan pace of 80's for the next four and than a girl caught up to me so I glued to her and ran a 79 for lap 24. This is where 10,000 is fun! I allowed myself to look at the clock as I passed to start lap 25. I tried to do the math and just couldn't get my brain to work. At first I thought I was going to run a 33:10 so I picked it up thinking what? I ran all 5 first miles under 5:20 how In the world. But when I hit 200 I realized what I can get under 33? GO, Go, Go! My legs were tired and my body wanted to just hold pace but I finished with a 76 and a 32:57!!!! At the time I was pumped! I had just run 23 seconds faster than I thought was possible and I got the B standard almost the A!
This only lasted until I realized I was 13th. Place in the race really didn't matter to me what mattered to me was this......the 10k is not like the marathon. Hitting the B standard is only provisional, they allow24 women into the race on June 22nd and sadly 12 women just ran faster than me TONIGHT. There will be faster girls on April 29th on the same track, some women have already run faster than that last year :( So my mind set changed. I will be back for the meet on April 29th I want to run the A! Will it be easy? No way! Sure 12 seconds is only 1/2 a second a lap but honestly I think I gave all I had this weekend. Can two solid weeks of training mean 12 seconds? There are for sure things I can do to be a smarter track runner like not letting up, no surging when it's not necessary, and can I make that move next time? Watching the video I think why didn't you? Part of it was being scared, part of it was that maybe I wasn't ready. But for the first couple laps they only picked it up a bit. So maybe I should have pushed through the pain, but myself in that scary hurt locker and held on maybe a couple more before they started really hammering the pace down. I know for sure I was not ready to make the moves to the end but maybe if I could have held on a couple more laps someone else would have fallen off with me and helped keep me on pace. Don't get me wrong I am so pleased with my race! It was a 1:06 10k PR in my first ever attempt on the track I am only thinking of ways I can improve when I try again. And believe me I will be trying again! It's so funny what one race can do. I went in thinking I had no speed, I wasn't ready and had a bad attitude toward the track. Now I am hungry for those 12 seconds and my auto birth into the trials. Until than I'll train my little ass off and cross my fingers that my current time will be enough.
Before I cut out of this long blog I do have to give huge props to my coach Scott Simmons! I can not say enough for how far he has brought me and my teammates! I still have no idea why he took the chance that I could be good at this but I am so grateful! I don't know why not everyone is knocking down his door to coach them, I don't know that there is any secret ingredient to making a runner good other than really hard work, but I'm pretty sure Scott's play book has to belretry darn close to the best! Just some examples of my improvement since I started with him at the end of June 2011
5k- 16:52 down to 16:25 and that was just on my way to a 10k
10k-34:25 down to 32:57
Half marathon- 1:17:?? Down to 1:13:46
Marathon debut 2:34:25
Numbers don't lie he is doing something right :) and that's just my times. Ali has been getting great PR's Joseph Chirlee got a new 10k PR this weekend and I can not wait to see what Adrian, Shannon and Tommy do at Penn and Mt Sac. I have a feeling we are about to see a lot of new PR's in the American Distance Project!!!!
Friday, April 6, 2012
It's time to learn something about myself
"when you put yourself on the line in a race and expose yourself to the unknown you learn things about yourself that are very exciting"
I just read this as I nervously sit around reading twitter. It scares me and excites me all at the same time. Tonight I will jump on the track in CA for the Stanford Invite and attempt to run 25 laps. I have run a lot of 10k's I have even run a marathon but for some reason THIS race scares me like never before. I'm not sure if it's because it's a lot of laps on a track, the unknown of how to race on a track or the fact that I want to run it fast? Post marathon I haven't had a ton of confidence in my speed. Workouts seem to be getting pretty quick but for some reason I can't wrap my head around going that fast!
This track thing is so different. For one normally my race would already be over! Sitting around all day with nothing but time to think is making me crazy! Should I eat more? Is that going to sit well if I do eat it? Should I nap? Why does my ankle hurt so much? This is the worst scenario for me :) I should not be left alone with my thoughts for this long. I'm trying to focus on the positive. All my workouts on the track are a 10k I complete those as fast or faster than I want to race tonight. The track isn't my thing so if it goes well that's icing on the cake for all the hard work I put in on the track. If not? Well it's not the end of the world! I am so much more comfortable on the roads but running is a lot like life. If we all did only the things we are comfortable with it would be so boring! So tonight I will get on the track, I will try to zone out for four miles, if I'm off pace on one lap I will try not to let it freak me out, I'll try to fall in to the pack and enjoy the magic of Stanford I've heard so much about, I'll think of my boys and know that I'm always making them do things they hate and I'll smile at the pain, I'll try to follow in my friend Janelle Martinez foot steps (she got a kick ass PR today in the 5k), I'll race right after Ali who I know will tear it up!, I'll listen for Scott to try and focus on staying relaxed and most of all I'm going to try to have as much fun as possible! Sure I want that OTQ but either way I was reminded this will result in a track PR no matter what I run!
Back to the beginning.....
This quote is very true. I can learn a lot about myself tonight. It can be good, it can be bad but no matter the outcome it will get me a step closer to what I want to do in the half and marathon this year.
I just read this as I nervously sit around reading twitter. It scares me and excites me all at the same time. Tonight I will jump on the track in CA for the Stanford Invite and attempt to run 25 laps. I have run a lot of 10k's I have even run a marathon but for some reason THIS race scares me like never before. I'm not sure if it's because it's a lot of laps on a track, the unknown of how to race on a track or the fact that I want to run it fast? Post marathon I haven't had a ton of confidence in my speed. Workouts seem to be getting pretty quick but for some reason I can't wrap my head around going that fast!
This track thing is so different. For one normally my race would already be over! Sitting around all day with nothing but time to think is making me crazy! Should I eat more? Is that going to sit well if I do eat it? Should I nap? Why does my ankle hurt so much? This is the worst scenario for me :) I should not be left alone with my thoughts for this long. I'm trying to focus on the positive. All my workouts on the track are a 10k I complete those as fast or faster than I want to race tonight. The track isn't my thing so if it goes well that's icing on the cake for all the hard work I put in on the track. If not? Well it's not the end of the world! I am so much more comfortable on the roads but running is a lot like life. If we all did only the things we are comfortable with it would be so boring! So tonight I will get on the track, I will try to zone out for four miles, if I'm off pace on one lap I will try not to let it freak me out, I'll try to fall in to the pack and enjoy the magic of Stanford I've heard so much about, I'll think of my boys and know that I'm always making them do things they hate and I'll smile at the pain, I'll try to follow in my friend Janelle Martinez foot steps (she got a kick ass PR today in the 5k), I'll race right after Ali who I know will tear it up!, I'll listen for Scott to try and focus on staying relaxed and most of all I'm going to try to have as much fun as possible! Sure I want that OTQ but either way I was reminded this will result in a track PR no matter what I run!
Back to the beginning.....
This quote is very true. I can learn a lot about myself tonight. It can be good, it can be bad but no matter the outcome it will get me a step closer to what I want to do in the half and marathon this year.
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