Turn your brain off!

I woke up today thinking WTH!?!?!?! I have prepared for Monday April 21st with hundreds and hundreds of miles. 12 weeks, 84 days, countless hours, 12 massages, hours in my Normatec boots, miles on my Elliptigo, too many minutes with my R8, sacrificed races and many social sacrifices just to go to bed last night and dream that I DROPPED OUT OF THE BOSTON MARATHON!!! Those of you that have read this blog know that I have some serious issues upstairs when it comes to racing. It is by far the biggest obstacle I have to over come. However last week I sat down and looked through my training log for this cycle and came to peace with the fact that I did all I could. I ran some great long runs and workouts in some crappy conditions. I did more than 24 miles on more than one occasion on the trusty treadmill. After reading it all back I realized you know what I had a great build up! I'm ready to go no doubting yourself now. UNTIL apparently my sub conscious wanted to freak me out just a little more and give me that wonderful dream last night.

Here is the deal. Monday will be marathon number 3, in the grand scheme of things I am still a marathon baby. It is going to take a lot more than 2 or even 3 for me to perfect (as much as one can when some things are out of your control) the marathon. It's time to reflect. I am going to be totally real with you, the last 9 miles of Twin cities was the most physically miserable I have ever been in my life. Which isn't taken lightly...I have had TWO babies naturally and while just short of three months pregnant with the second I had an emergency appendectomy. I have been miserable. I have dealt with pain.  I lost my mom in my early 20's I know how to deal with the worst kind of emotional pain. So When I think of all these things I think....BRING IT ON BOSTON!!! I've dealt with so much worse. Boston will be fun!

 It is completely natural to get nervous or scared leading in to a marathon. As runners we put months and months in to one race hoping that on race day everything we have done will pay off. That is the easy part, some things are simply out of our control. Will our bodies cooperate on race day? Will the weather cooperate? Did we taper just right? Did we eat, drink, sleep enough? So much goes in to this ONE day and this ONE day will take so much out of us it will be fall before we can come back for our next duel with the marathon. So yes all these thoughts are normal. Looking at social media I know I am not the only one thinking these thoughts.

Truth be told though. If Monday doesn't go well it'll suck. Those that don't meat their expectations will feel defeated, like they let people down, like they are failures. This could not be farther from the truth. No matter how Monday goes ALL of us out there running whether it was great or awful will have learned something. We will all be better marathoners as a result and life will continue. Regardless of how anyone does Monday we are all able to run and push ourselves. There are so many people who would kill to be running a marathon in sub 2:30, 2:30, sub 3:00, 3:00, 3:05, 3:30 sub 4:00. The list goes on and on. As much as I wish I wasn't away from my family on Easter weekend it does give you purpose. Think of how blessed we all are to be here, living the life we are so lucky to have. I plan on going out there and running with joy. Thanking God for giving me this talent and life that may not be close to perfect but that I enjoy to it's fullest. No I'm not going to win on Monday but I am going to do my absolute best to set a new PR in this race and every other marathon I start. I'm ready and while anxious I am excited to be at one of the best marathons there is!

Like the quote says......in the race when you start doubting how much farther you can go remember just how far you have come! THIS is the fun part! GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE IN BOSTON!!!

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