"Whenever you think you are giving it all you have, give just a little bit more"

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Trying to figure it out

It's been forever since I've blogged. Mostly because I haven't really felt like what I've been doing is anywhere near "blog worthy". Just to catch up.......

The biggest highlight was the USA half champs. The half is by far my favorite distance. I had no idea what to expect from it as it was at the end of my season which was full of 10k training and a lot of racing! I was racing back to back weekends and traveling a lot to try and get my trials time of 32:45. It turns out not having any expectations of myself was the best thing ever! My goal was to run smart and try to pace myself with the Hanson girls. Having raced them in longer distances before I know they are by far the smartest racers I've ever seen. They go out controlled and end up kickin butt every time. I figured I'd just try to hang with them as long as possible. Long story short they ran smart like always so with them and the other few girls in my group I was able to pull of a new PR of 1:12:56. With the exception of the Marathon I've never been more happy with a race outcome before. This race was when the seed was planted and I started to believe that maybe just maybe with some good quality long runs and longer progressions I could possibly have a chance at the World Half team by running well at the 20k champs.

A couple days later I found out I was number 24 for the Olympic track and field trials. The trials were a great experience for me. I was seriously so excited to be there not so much for my race but because I wanted to be there so see my teammate Alisha rock it! The race itself was just blah......I tried to help set the pace for Ali to have an honest shot at the Olympic "A" standard but knew from half a mile in my legs were dead. Probably a result of the half a few days before or more than likely just a long haul of a season full of hard training and PR racing. But I do have to admit it was pretty cool to look up on the screen and see myself next to Shalanne. Not to mention of all the things I've done my boys will still tell people "My mom was winning the Olympic trials.........for a little bit" :)

Back to the seed that was planted. Together with Scott we decided I would take a week off (hello Las Vegas!) and than just put in a good stint of training before I raced again. This was hard for me as I REALLY like to race and I do feel better and better if I race a lot, but on the flip side when I do that I tend to race myself out of shape. This stint was going to be 9 weeks of solid efforts, I knew this would mean I was going to have an amazing race at the 20k's. Workouts were going so well. I even had a 10 mile progression that was just a tad slower than my ten mile race PR for altitude. WOOHOO! If only people would come and time my workouts.........

What I had been ignoring was this little stupid thing I had going on with my ankle, or at this point my kankle.
We've all done this, come on admit it runners, I fought with myself thinking this is no big deal. Running ALWAYS hurts something. Just keep training it will go away. SO for 6 weeks I did, for 6 weeks I'd hobble around the day after my good solid eforts, but to me it wasn't a big deal because my hard efforts were going great! I think as runners it's a non stop battle of toeing that injury line. I've been so so blessed not having had any problems yet, but I guess it's the nature of what we do. At some point more than likely we will all deal with it. I unfortunately am not good at dealing with it because I have this little voice in my head that tells me if I do I am WEAK! So I just kept plugging away.

The 20ks came and I was not excited. This is a weird feeling for me because racing is so much fun. However I knew my ankle was pissed off. Well I ran the 20k's, I fell apart, I had an awful race, got stuck in New haven an extra night, didn't even come close to making the world half team, I came home I let myself have a good cry and than I started training. My next long run resulted in a very fat ankle and I realized I needed to do something about this now. So I sadly pulled out of Philly did a lot of pool running, Alter G running and went to the doc. X-ray came back ok, I now have a normal size ankle and was determined to get in the half marathon I missed. Sadly Philly had come and gone so I had my amazing agent get me in to the Denver half a couple days before and moved on.

Welp I'd love to say I ran the half today, it was awesome and I rocked it. Instead I'll tell you I ran the half today, I ran a lot slower than I know I am capable of 1:17:11 and I'm disappointed. But I will also tell you I will shed no tears over my frustration, I mean hey I made it through the half and I have a normal sized ankle. Thats a victory! So I'll just (as Kevin says) "put my nose to the grind stone" and focus on what is important the New York City Marathon. I have time for some good training and I want to kick some butt there.

I have a hard time when I don't race like I should. I start telling myself I'm out of shape, I don't deserve to do this or that, so and so is going to kick my butt. In reality I know that non of it is true, but sadly running is 90% mental. The next couple weeks I'm going to spend my time trying to train the thing between my shoulders and cross my fingers that the 10 mile champs goes better than the last two!

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