"when you put yourself on the line in a race and expose yourself to the unknown you learn things about yourself that are very exciting"
I just read this as I nervously sit around reading twitter. It scares me and excites me all at the same time. Tonight I will jump on the track in CA for the Stanford Invite and attempt to run 25 laps. I have run a lot of 10k's I have even run a marathon but for some reason THIS race scares me like never before. I'm not sure if it's because it's a lot of laps on a track, the unknown of how to race on a track or the fact that I want to run it fast? Post marathon I haven't had a ton of confidence in my speed. Workouts seem to be getting pretty quick but for some reason I can't wrap my head around going that fast!
This track thing is so different. For one normally my race would already be over! Sitting around all day with nothing but time to think is making me crazy! Should I eat more? Is that going to sit well if I do eat it? Should I nap? Why does my ankle hurt so much? This is the worst scenario for me :) I should not be left alone with my thoughts for this long. I'm trying to focus on the positive. All my workouts on the track are a 10k I complete those as fast or faster than I want to race tonight. The track isn't my thing so if it goes well that's icing on the cake for all the hard work I put in on the track. If not? Well it's not the end of the world! I am so much more comfortable on the roads but running is a lot like life. If we all did only the things we are comfortable with it would be so boring! So tonight I will get on the track, I will try to zone out for four miles, if I'm off pace on one lap I will try not to let it freak me out, I'll try to fall in to the pack and enjoy the magic of Stanford I've heard so much about, I'll think of my boys and know that I'm always making them do things they hate and I'll smile at the pain, I'll try to follow in my friend Janelle Martinez foot steps (she got a kick ass PR today in the 5k), I'll race right after Ali who I know will tear it up!, I'll listen for Scott to try and focus on staying relaxed and most of all I'm going to try to have as much fun as possible! Sure I want that OTQ but either way I was reminded this will result in a track PR no matter what I run!
Back to the beginning.....
This quote is very true. I can learn a lot about myself tonight. It can be good, it can be bad but no matter the outcome it will get me a step closer to what I want to do in the half and marathon this year.