This last weekend was both a blast and a let down. I headed out to NYC knowing it was my first race back post marathon and not really expecting anything from myself maybe just top 25. It was just a good rust buster to see where I was and what kind of work needed to be done. So thats what I told myself, BUT the little voice in the back of my head was wanting to PR wanting to have a great showing and maybe sneak in top 20. Scott had given me a plan to just hang with a couple girls and feel comfortable. SO no pressure from him at all.
Race morning I felt ok not really nervous just ready to go. The crowd support in NYC is incredible and the start was full of people! It was very exciting. Once we all got lined up it seemed like seconds before the gun went off. At this point I had no idea where the girls I wanted to run with were at. All I knew was holy crap these girls are going out fast. I knew central Park was the toughest part of the course so I was trying to just stay comfortable and not get carried away in the early pace which I thought I would surely pay for later. Mile one came by quick and I was on pace for what I wanted to hit, but I got a little worried. This is never how I race! Usually the first two miles are way too fast and than I settle in. If I was on pace now did that mean I wasn't ready to race? Would I drop far off of pace and run a horrible time? At this point I found myself alone with no girls to run with. There were a few guys I could catch up to but than they would fall off having gone out to fast. I did manage to run a couple miles in Central Park with a girl from BAA and NYAC we kind of just leap frogged each other back and forth until we left the park. During Central Park I tried really hard not to look at my watch. IT's so hilly that splits were all over the place. 5:30 followed by a 5:40's I kept telling myself just keep the effort the same in the park and when you get out of here the race will start and you can really get rolling. This would have been a great idea however once we made the trun out of the park we were dealt with a nasty head wind. I spent most of the next half of the race catching up to guys and trying to use them for a wind block. Sadly the last 7 miles I ran mostly solo into the wind. My paces were ok but I was not making up the time I needed to from the slow hilly miles in the beginning. I knew I wasn't going to PR so I tried to just keep my pace up and at least make it into the low 74's. I do have to admit that once I realized it wasn't my day I wanted to focus on something to avoid putting myself down. At this point I realized I was running through Time square it was so cool! The morning was foggy so it felt like we were in the twilight zone. The rest of the race went by just ok my splits stayed kind of where I wanted them but I did fiish with a 5:35 the last mile and am even happy to say when i saw the sign for 800 to go I was actually able to pick it up and "sprint"! In the last 800 I passed 5 guys. I don't really ever sprint so this was the best thing I can take away from the race, I was strong!
I ended up finishing the race in a 74:19 not bad for a off day on a tough course, but not a great race either. After the race I went for a run with one of the nicest runners I have ever gotten to know Diane Nukuri-Johnson who had a great race finishing 11th. I wasn't really down or upset but as we were talking about our races I think she could tell I was frustrated. All weekend long Diane and her friend from S. Africa Irvette had been so amazingly nice to me but it was what she told me after the race that made me feel better. She told me a story about her and Kim Smith. Just a year or two before she had run a 74 on the same day Kim had blazed to a 67 something. Kim had asked her about her race and told her great job. Diane responded with a are you cray you were 7 minutes ahead of me. Kim reassured her it would get easier and she would get faster. Now fast forward to this year Diane ran a 70:55 pretty damn fast! We talked about how it will get better and faster which put it all into perspective for me. Had I run a 74 last year it would have been good enough to qualify me for the trials and I would have ended the race in tears of joy. Sunday I finished the race in 74 and had small tears of frustration. This race is only my first race back after the marathon, a couple weeks off and a short turn around. There is no need to be upset. My first half last year was 76 than I ran a 73 so I am already ahead of the game my first half was 74. Now I just need to bust my butt and get the season rolling. I'm hoping to jump into a 5k before I head out to Standford for the 10k on the track. I feel like I need a race that is blazing as to not shock me on the pace in the 10k. The 5:20 sure feels a lot different than my 5:50 pace for the marathon!
Some other things were pretty amazing this weekend.
First I have to give it to the NYRR they treat athletes so amazing! Everything they did was really top notch. Even though as I ran through Central Park my mind was thinking I must be crazy to want to run a marathon here and FINISH in this park I actually would LOVE to have the opportunity to go back and tackle the park again!
I also have to let you all know that if you are looking for an American runner to support and cheer for it has to be Janet Cheberon-Bawcom! Number one she is amazingly talented and on a roll. She finished as the second American this weekend, 5th female in a cray fast 69:55!! Pretty amazing! But you should really be behind her because she is simply the sweetest person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Her and her husband are just so nice and caring. After she finishes a race like that she still asks me how it went and is supportive. Keep an eye out for her because she is on a roll!
Also its no big deal but I did a run with Kim Smith. :)Friday morning Diane and Irvette were nice enough to take me to Central Park for a run. I had to run longer than they did and when our run was winding down Kim jumped in with us. I was so nervous as the two I had been running with were leaving and I was going to be running with Kim. What would I say? She is a complete and total badass! I was immediatly the little girl who just ran into one of her idols. Luckily Kim is a super personable lady and we just had a normal conversation. It was so cool! For a woman who has no idea why I am lucky enough to be put in these situations I was smiling ear to ear the rest of the day.
I also had a few firsts. I bought a purse from a guys trunk. Figured I should do it since I was in NY :) I walked around and saw a lot of amaing sights in NYC. Saturday being St Patrick's day the city was crazy hopping with the parade just a block from my hotelSo on my run Saturday Central Park was packed! I have to say I have never been chased down by a drunk college kid on my morning run as he yelled "hey baby I love the way you run wait up." I guess only in NYC.
Overall I had a great experience and am so grateful to David Monti, the NYRR, Caroline (my agent) for getting me in the race, Scott for telling me to go as it would be a great experience and Mary Wittenberg for being so supportive of distance runners and our goals! For a girl who just started this journey of running a few years ago I am feeling very blessed!!!
Now off to run......lots of work to do to reach my goals!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
It's great to be a part of a team!
It's been a while since I've blogged mostly because I haven't felt super excited about what I was accomplishing. Anyone who knows me knows that I am really hard on myself. So this is how the last couple of months have gone........
I came off of the trials on cloud 9, I was so excited for what I had just accomplished, what this meant for what I could do in the future and I was pumped to get back to training. The week following the marathon I was on vacation with the family which was a great way to keep me from jumping the gun and getting back out there too fast. I took the week pretty easy followed by a week of a gradual mileage build up. The legs felt fine I though it was all roses UNTIL.......week three when I jumped back into workouts. My first workout was mile repeats on the track. It was so depressing I threw a nice little temper tantrum that could rival any my kids have ever thrown. My legs felt fine but hitting 5:20 was pushing with ALL I had. All I could think was crap! Before I had started marathon training hitting 5:20 was effortless. I started to feel like I had taken one step forward with the marathon to take three steps back with speed. My mind started to freak out. If I can't hit 5:20 effortlessly anymore how in the he** did I think I was going to hit 33:?? on the track to qualify for the trials. Had I lost my mind? In whose world did running 25 laps around a track even sound good when I was struggling to hit 4 laps?? I'll be honest I love the 10k on the roads, the track well thats a different story. I am so afraid of the track that I was having a hard time just visualizing getting on it.
Needless to say the following five weeks of workouts were not exactly what I would call pretty 800's, 400's, miles, predator runs and long runs all seemed to get in my head. But just like Scott said each week got better, each week got "easier" but i still just couldn't get my head on straight. How could I be in the best shape of my life and still feel like the out of shape girl who was breathing so hard I thought I would die :) Part of my problem also was reading other girls blogs who said they were feeling great and running faster than ever and already racing.
Ok let me get to the point (I ramble a lot don't I) Here is where having a team has helped me. This past weekend I went down to Pueblo to do the Spring Runoff 10 mile which also happend to be the Usatf CO 10 mile champs. Since I am racing in NYC next weekend I wasn't going to use the race as a race but as a workout. Luckily Scott also sent Ali down to do the same. Saturday I did my ten miles with Ali and just got to talk to her about it all. Ali is someone I really look up to. She is an amazing runner and a very bright lady! We talked a lot about how I was feeling and how frustrated I was. When we left the run I felt a lot better. The next morning we had a great workout at the 10 mile. The first five miles were very rough as there was a nasty head wind and nothing to block it as we were running in the open along the river. We worked together very well and stayed together until around 8.5 miles. (Ali has a nasty little kick! I guess thats what you get when you are as speedy as she is.) WE crossed the line first and second in 59 and 59:14 I believe. No the times were not anything to get excited about, but I had just hung in a workout with Ali! I was pretty excited. I had a high mileage week and a pretty good effort given the circumstances.Plus our ADP teammate Adrian came in 3rd for her workout as well! IT was so nice at the awards to see the BRC orange/purple shirts dominating the mens and womens top ten!
The race and talking to Ali was exactly what I needed! Running can be a tricky thing, if you get it in your head that you are doing awful you will probably start doing awful. I'm trying to remember that I hated marathon training in the beginning but by the end I was thriving off of it. So now I hate speed training, but it's early in the season and come summer time I am going to love it! Not to mention the weather is getting nicer which just puts me in a better mood to get out the door and kick some butt!
Next up is the NYC half on March 18th. I am so excited! I've never been to NYC! The field is very loaded so there is no pressure. Just go out, race and see what I've got. I really don't know anything about the course other than that its a new one this year. But anytime you get to go to NYC not to mention toe the line with Kara and Desi it can't be too bad!!!!
I came off of the trials on cloud 9, I was so excited for what I had just accomplished, what this meant for what I could do in the future and I was pumped to get back to training. The week following the marathon I was on vacation with the family which was a great way to keep me from jumping the gun and getting back out there too fast. I took the week pretty easy followed by a week of a gradual mileage build up. The legs felt fine I though it was all roses UNTIL.......week three when I jumped back into workouts. My first workout was mile repeats on the track. It was so depressing I threw a nice little temper tantrum that could rival any my kids have ever thrown. My legs felt fine but hitting 5:20 was pushing with ALL I had. All I could think was crap! Before I had started marathon training hitting 5:20 was effortless. I started to feel like I had taken one step forward with the marathon to take three steps back with speed. My mind started to freak out. If I can't hit 5:20 effortlessly anymore how in the he** did I think I was going to hit 33:?? on the track to qualify for the trials. Had I lost my mind? In whose world did running 25 laps around a track even sound good when I was struggling to hit 4 laps?? I'll be honest I love the 10k on the roads, the track well thats a different story. I am so afraid of the track that I was having a hard time just visualizing getting on it.
Needless to say the following five weeks of workouts were not exactly what I would call pretty 800's, 400's, miles, predator runs and long runs all seemed to get in my head. But just like Scott said each week got better, each week got "easier" but i still just couldn't get my head on straight. How could I be in the best shape of my life and still feel like the out of shape girl who was breathing so hard I thought I would die :) Part of my problem also was reading other girls blogs who said they were feeling great and running faster than ever and already racing.
Ok let me get to the point (I ramble a lot don't I) Here is where having a team has helped me. This past weekend I went down to Pueblo to do the Spring Runoff 10 mile which also happend to be the Usatf CO 10 mile champs. Since I am racing in NYC next weekend I wasn't going to use the race as a race but as a workout. Luckily Scott also sent Ali down to do the same. Saturday I did my ten miles with Ali and just got to talk to her about it all. Ali is someone I really look up to. She is an amazing runner and a very bright lady! We talked a lot about how I was feeling and how frustrated I was. When we left the run I felt a lot better. The next morning we had a great workout at the 10 mile. The first five miles were very rough as there was a nasty head wind and nothing to block it as we were running in the open along the river. We worked together very well and stayed together until around 8.5 miles. (Ali has a nasty little kick! I guess thats what you get when you are as speedy as she is.) WE crossed the line first and second in 59 and 59:14 I believe. No the times were not anything to get excited about, but I had just hung in a workout with Ali! I was pretty excited. I had a high mileage week and a pretty good effort given the circumstances.Plus our ADP teammate Adrian came in 3rd for her workout as well! IT was so nice at the awards to see the BRC orange/purple shirts dominating the mens and womens top ten!
The race and talking to Ali was exactly what I needed! Running can be a tricky thing, if you get it in your head that you are doing awful you will probably start doing awful. I'm trying to remember that I hated marathon training in the beginning but by the end I was thriving off of it. So now I hate speed training, but it's early in the season and come summer time I am going to love it! Not to mention the weather is getting nicer which just puts me in a better mood to get out the door and kick some butt!
Next up is the NYC half on March 18th. I am so excited! I've never been to NYC! The field is very loaded so there is no pressure. Just go out, race and see what I've got. I really don't know anything about the course other than that its a new one this year. But anytime you get to go to NYC not to mention toe the line with Kara and Desi it can't be too bad!!!!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Olympic Trials
Wow I don't even know where to begin.
Going to the trials was a dream of mine and when I woke up Thursday I couldn't believe it was time to head out. I was happy to be joined by my brother Travis who did a good job keeping my mind off of the race and the poor guy even endured a lot of Real Housewives of ....... shows to keep my mind busy :)
I had been a slacker booking my hotel so Thursday early afternoon me and Travis flew in and drove to get to the Best Western and shortly after were heading over to the Hilton (the host hotel) to pick up my packet. At first I was bummed I didn't get into the host hotel but right after walking in the door and seeing how nervous being around everyone else made me I was so glad to just keep away from the madness. After getting my packet and so much information I thought my head was going to pop off I hit the treadmill for a quick and easy 6 mile run and than we were off to dinner with Scott. At dinner Scott had given me my race plan (a 5:50 pace) and I was scared to death! I did not think it was possible to keep that pace for 26 miles. The next 24 hours went by in a blur, my aunt and uncle arrived, Kevin and the boys arrived and before I knew it Kevin was driving me to the start.......
It was all really weird I actually got 7 hours of great sleep the night before the race. I woke up so calm, I had finally told myself to just do what Scott said. He wouldn't send me on a death march. He knew what I had done to prepare and he knew what I was capable of. Kevin dropped me off at the hotel and told me that at mile 20 or mile 22 when it starts to hurt and I want to give in to just remember my mom. Remember how much of a fighter she was and remember I get that from her. It brought tears to my eyes and than I was off. I spent the next couple hours having coffee and eating my bagel with peanut butter. There was a short 10 minute warm up and than we were off.
The first mile of the race was insane!!! We were going so slow that there was a gigantic pack. We all spent the whole first mile bumping and tripping on one another trying to find a safe spot to just stay on our feet. When we crossed mile 1 you could tell everyone was slower than expected 6:15!!! Good news is we all started to string out a little bit and by the time I took the turn into the first 8 mile loop I had found Ali and our little pack. Miles 3-6 were a little faster than we had expected 5:40-5:45 but we wanted to stay in our pack. Scott had warned us with the wind in the city it was vital to stay in a pack and not get stuck all alone. It scared me a little in the marathon to be putting time in the bank even though it really felt easy. I was worried it would come back to hurt me in the end of the race. Looking around in our pack though I knew I was in a good group it was Ali, Meghan Peyton, Kathy Newberry, Emily Harris, Ziola Gomez, myself and three other girls I didn't know. From racing these girls through out the year I knew they were all really good at pacing so if I could just hang in there with them until the pace settled in I knew we would be in good position. The group made it through the first 8 mile loop pretty much all together. As we went past our first water stations I decided the best thing for me to do was take a few sips at every station as well as a small bit of my GU. I figured with my touchy stomach not taking too much at once and staying ahead of dehydration was a good idea. Believe it or not getting the bottles, drinking and taking my gel proved to be a lot easier than I had expected it to be.
The wind was kind of a pain as we were heading out on the beginning of every loop so with the pack so big me and Ali tried to just tuck in behind and hold on as long as we could. Little did we know that half way through the second 8 mile loop we started losing people on the pack. By about 13-14 miles our pack had fallen down to three of us. Ali, Clara Peterson (also a mother of two little ones!!!) and myself. The weird thing about the marathon is you can just hold conversations as you are racing, I'm not too sure about this! When we realized it was just the three of us we talked about how we needed to stay together and we would slowly start picking people off. At mile 17 we started to pick off some really good runners and got a little out of control with a 5:37, it was such a rush! Luckily we settled back in and when we came to the end of our 2nd 8 mile loop passing my family we were in 25-27th place.
The next lap was the most exciting of the race. I was still feeling really good but all I could think was of the three of us in this pack I am probably going to be the one to get dropped. I just need to hold on as long as possible so I don't have to run too much of this by myself. Our pace was steady as we started the lap and than mile 19, 20, 21 started to slow close to or just at a 6 minute pace. It was just after we crossed mile 21 that I started to think to myself. I could see some women ahead and I was still feeling really good. Could I make a push and pick it up a little? I wanted to hit a 2:35! My next move scared me to death. I decided it was now or never. I still had some in the tank so I picked it up I picked off a couple more girls and just kept focusing on the next one in front of me. Than I noticed the girl right in front of me was Magda!!! Are you kidding me? What the heck am I doing up here? This can not be good, I must have gotten carried away! All the girls I just passed and ran away from were for sure going to catch back up to me. At some point I was going to hit a wall and start to die. What a rookie I was! I noticed Magda didn't stop for her 2nd to last water station so I figured ok I probably don't need it I'm just going to keep going, than I skipped my last one thinking I am too close to the finish for it to help anyway. I just kept going, I had my eyes focused on Magda's back she is one of my biggest idols! Just the fact that I was even close to her at this point was so exciting! I knew any minute my body was going to shut down but until than I have to keep pushing. But before I knew it I was at mile 25 and I felt GREAT! Sure I was tired but i wasn't hurting I had complete control of myself. Sadly Magda had more control as she went from being maybe 10-15 seconds ahead of me to 40 by the finish and from 12th to 10th place putting her in the money. I was so amazed just watching her hit her next gear and go. That's when Scott took me out of my trance and said come on if you are feeling good pick it up go get that girl in front of you. I really didn't think there was anyway for me to catch up to her but to my surprise I did! Just before the turn to the finish I passed my last competitor putting myself into 12th place. Than I heard the announcer say and here comes Katie McGregor.....yikes I was so excited I was racing close to some of the women I really look up to. When I crossed the finish line I had no idea what place I had just finished in all I knew was that I ran a 2:34:25!!!!! I really thought on my best day I would run a 2:35 and that was really stretching it! All I wanted was to run sub 2:38 and I would be happy. So a 2:34!!!! Woohoo!!! I turned around to see Ali coming across the line. We were both hugging one another jumping up and down. WE had done it! WE are now marathoners and it wasn't even that bad!
Scott called me over and he told me I was 12th, how exciting?!?!?! Than the little crazy competitor in me was disappointed I was so close to top ten, what could I have done different. Yeah I know I am crazy :)
The rest of the day was kind of crazy. I had such an amazing support group there and I wanted to try and spend time with everyone but I was also tired! At lunch with everyone I heard that my two training partners had made the trip out to Houston to cheer me on and didn't even tell me. I was moved to tears. These two guys have gotten me to this point. Had it not been for Corey and Tyler I don't know if I would have been able to do all of the training I had gone through in the last 13 weeks. There were times marathon training was really really tough. So to have them there to see what I went through......I can't even describe how grateful I am to them!
I spent the rest of the day hanging out with family. I hit the hot tub, went to the after party that Richard Fanning put on and back to the hotel to have some beers with my brother, Aunt, Uncle and Kevin. It was such an amazing day! Than.........I woke up Sunday and felt like a little old lady walking around. The only thing that hurt were my quads, which is odd for me I am not sure I've ever really had just my quads hurt. It did make for an interesting day walking to the aquarium.
The best part about the trip was that we were all heading to Galveston for the next 7 days to just unwind and enjoy some family time. My nieces live in Ohio, my brother works a lot so we don't get to see him as much as we would like to, my aunt and uncle are always there to support and help me with the kids, and getting to spend a week of just family time with Kevin and my kids was just what I needed! I'm not going to say it was easy I WANTED to go out and run so badly every single day but I did a very good job just relaxing and recovering! We spent the week going to Moody gardens, playing on the beach, hanging out on the Strand, going to the space museum, the zoo and on my birthday I got my first facial during my morning at the spa. What a great week!
Now its time to be back home and get back in the swing of things. I'm very optimistic for 2012! As long as I can stay healthy and continue to train I think good things will come.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE TRIP
**going into the third 8 mile lap I hear my brother in law on the mega phone that he took from a race volunteer cheering for me. Telling me I looked good, keep it up we will see you at the finish! I was cracking up!!!!
**Colleen making the Team Wendy shirts. I came around at mile 9 and could just see my kids, Travis, Kevin, Aunt Machelle, Uncle James, Chris, Colleen, Addison and Samantha all in matching blue. It put a smile on my face when I girl in the pack said well there is your family!
**Not ever hitting the wall! The marathon really is a great race if you are prepared right! It's a testament to Scott and Renato's training. I could see people hitting the wall and fading but I was kicking along.
**Houston did an amazing job with the race! They really did show us great southern hospitality!
**Having my dad, Sandy, Sister, brothers, all of their spouses and kids there cheering me on. All the family kept me going!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
What did I sign up for?!?!?!?!
I just spent the weekend down in Colorado Springs with my awesome family which was a great distraction from the little voice in my head telling me I am insane! While I was down there I got to see my cute as a button cousin who is 8 months pregnant and it made me realize that even though we are both in very different places in our lives we are also in the same spot.
Here is why.....
Being pregnant/ giving birth
For you ladies do you remember when you first found out you were pregnant? I was so happy I was in tears! It was so amazing you have this little life in you that you love before you have even met. For nine months all these amazing, and sometimes awful, things happen to you. Going to the doctor and hearing the heart beat or seeing your little munchkin on the TV for the first time. It's this great feeling AND THAN before you know it you are 8,9 months pregnant and you realize I have to do what? I mean you know it's coming you knew when this whole journey started but now it's real! Now you realize you have to push this little life out of you and it is not going to be fun. Are you ready for this? Are you mature enough to be a parent? Can you handle this financially? But you realize the end reward will be so sweet and the answer is if you are ready or not you are going to do the best you possibly can because this little life depends on you and that will be enough!
Marathon training/ Marathon racing
When I qualified in Philly I was SO happy that I could hardly control myself the last two miles I was all chocked up. After I crossed the line I was jumping up and down you would have thought I had just won the Olympics. Than a month later marathon training started. There were days I had such amazing runs and workouts and than there were the days I felt like crap. Some times I thought I was indestructible and than I ended up with the flu. So many ups and downs but through it all I was so happy to be a part of the Olympic trials. What an honor I couldn't wait AND THAN it was 2 weeks away and I realized I have to do what? Again I knew this whole journey I was going to run 26.2 miles and be able to call myself a marathoner. Now I realize I am going to run 26.2 miles! All these questions cross my mind. Did I do enough to prepare? Did I train hard enough? Am I cutting back enough? Am I eating enough? Am I going to be able to finish this race? Than I look back on training and remember there were days I would just stumble in to my bed after a 30 mile day with pure exhaustion. I gave it everything I had for the last 12 weeks I had no more to give. Plus I have complete faith in Scott he got me this far there is no way he would give me a training plan that didn't prepare me.
I haven't felt like this since I was pregnant with Chase. The unknown, being completely freaked out knowing what you have to do but also knowing there is so much you can't control. A lot of people have been asking me if I am nervous and the answer is yes and no. I am not really nervous because I am in the Olympic Trials, that is just an awesome added bonus! I am however nervous because this is my first marathon. Just like when I was pregnant people told me so many times how painful and horrible it is. I have heard stories of your body shutting down at 20 or points that you just have to drop out because you have no choice. I am super worried about taking my fluids and gels because I have such a touchy stomach. I guess I am scared because I have never put so much training into just one day. I have trained hard before but when I was training it was for multiple races. This time I feel like there are so many eggs in this one basket. I don't want to let my coach down, I don't want to disappoint my family who is coming or the ones who will be following me. I think when I do my second marathon (yeah I know I haven't even finished my first and I already know I'll want to do another one)I will feel a lot better.
All that being said I'm getting super excited to go to Texas and toe the line with so many amazing runners. Even more excited to be able to call myself a marathoner (so long as everything goes right.
Here is why.....
Being pregnant/ giving birth
For you ladies do you remember when you first found out you were pregnant? I was so happy I was in tears! It was so amazing you have this little life in you that you love before you have even met. For nine months all these amazing, and sometimes awful, things happen to you. Going to the doctor and hearing the heart beat or seeing your little munchkin on the TV for the first time. It's this great feeling AND THAN before you know it you are 8,9 months pregnant and you realize I have to do what? I mean you know it's coming you knew when this whole journey started but now it's real! Now you realize you have to push this little life out of you and it is not going to be fun. Are you ready for this? Are you mature enough to be a parent? Can you handle this financially? But you realize the end reward will be so sweet and the answer is if you are ready or not you are going to do the best you possibly can because this little life depends on you and that will be enough!
Marathon training/ Marathon racing
When I qualified in Philly I was SO happy that I could hardly control myself the last two miles I was all chocked up. After I crossed the line I was jumping up and down you would have thought I had just won the Olympics. Than a month later marathon training started. There were days I had such amazing runs and workouts and than there were the days I felt like crap. Some times I thought I was indestructible and than I ended up with the flu. So many ups and downs but through it all I was so happy to be a part of the Olympic trials. What an honor I couldn't wait AND THAN it was 2 weeks away and I realized I have to do what? Again I knew this whole journey I was going to run 26.2 miles and be able to call myself a marathoner. Now I realize I am going to run 26.2 miles! All these questions cross my mind. Did I do enough to prepare? Did I train hard enough? Am I cutting back enough? Am I eating enough? Am I going to be able to finish this race? Than I look back on training and remember there were days I would just stumble in to my bed after a 30 mile day with pure exhaustion. I gave it everything I had for the last 12 weeks I had no more to give. Plus I have complete faith in Scott he got me this far there is no way he would give me a training plan that didn't prepare me.
I haven't felt like this since I was pregnant with Chase. The unknown, being completely freaked out knowing what you have to do but also knowing there is so much you can't control. A lot of people have been asking me if I am nervous and the answer is yes and no. I am not really nervous because I am in the Olympic Trials, that is just an awesome added bonus! I am however nervous because this is my first marathon. Just like when I was pregnant people told me so many times how painful and horrible it is. I have heard stories of your body shutting down at 20 or points that you just have to drop out because you have no choice. I am super worried about taking my fluids and gels because I have such a touchy stomach. I guess I am scared because I have never put so much training into just one day. I have trained hard before but when I was training it was for multiple races. This time I feel like there are so many eggs in this one basket. I don't want to let my coach down, I don't want to disappoint my family who is coming or the ones who will be following me. I think when I do my second marathon (yeah I know I haven't even finished my first and I already know I'll want to do another one)I will feel a lot better.
All that being said I'm getting super excited to go to Texas and toe the line with so many amazing runners. Even more excited to be able to call myself a marathoner (so long as everything goes right.
Monday, December 19, 2011
I lost that loving feeling...........
So I woke up this morning and decided I didn't WANT to run. First I skipped my normal morning run time to stay home with Tripp hang out and even clean telling myself I would run after I dropped him off. I dropped him off at school and decided I would push it back just a little to go tan, but during my tan I decided I was just going to skip it all together. I was going to go shopping do something without a schedule just enjoy me time. I did fight with myself the whole 20 minutes saying I bet Kara, Des, Janet, Shalane, on and on never just don't want to run. What is wrong with you? You are less than a month away from this big race its such an honor and you don't want to run. I even cried on my way to Target, what a loser I was skipping running and not even caring. Before you judge me and think wow she doesn't even deserve this I'll tell you how I think I got here.
Do you remember what it was like when you first started running? Just go and run, no Garmin, no time, no goal just go and run. Let your mind wonder, run until you thought that was far enough. It felt SO good! After I qualified for the trials I became this crazy obsessed person! EVERY run was a concern for me. Even on easy days I would strap on my Garmin and watch it like a hawk. "What mile one was 5 seconds slower than the last time I ran this course, why does this slow pace hurt so much push harder, crap I'm not going fast enough". It started to be that I wanted to push every day. My easy days had to be the same pace or faster than the one before. Workouts were great! Slowly the mileage would increase, some days were doubles, long progression runs were so awesome! I didn't really see what I was doing to myself.
Than I got this awesome opportunity to go to Japan! I was so super excited, but at the same time I didn't want to change the race schedule I already had. Which ended up meaning that over the course of 3 weeks I would only be home for 9 days with my family. Of course they were supportive and as most runners know when you are feeling good you want to run every race you can make it to. When I would tell someone my schedule they would say wow how are you going to handle that? Even Scott kept reminding me non of these races are going to be PR's you are just going to have to reconcile that, this is marathon training. I pretended like I was ok with that but than I was disappointed in my time in Japan, I was pissed that I ended up getting sick in Vegas and only running a 1:16 and than there was XC. I actually wanted to contribute to the team this year. They all just nagged at me. At the same time the few days I was home I was so worried about making sure I was spending time with my family that I had myself on this nutty schedule. It got to a point that I would make sure I was at my first run at this time than lifting/core was at that time and my second run had to start at this time. Most days all of that would be within four hours. I knew it wasn't ideal but I didn't know how else to make it work. I would run a ten mile, lift and do core than have my second run within an hour from finishing my first. It was wearing me out. Than to top it off I was doing everything alone not because my friends didn't want to run but because I was being a nut.
While walking through Target shopping I was trying to figure this out in my head. How did I get here? As my friend Bri reminded me earlier this week "Remember how bad you wanted this, this was all you worked so hard for". I could look at the last page of Running Times and see the picture from the 2008 Olympic Marathon Trials and think "Wow that is so amazing look at those women" and not see that I was lucky enough this time to be one of the women in that race. I came up with I forgot how to LOVE running. Time, pace, distance, everything had become so much more important. I do want to point out this is no ones fault but my own. My coach wasn't the one pushing me to do this in fact he is more concerned with my recovery and workouts than the easy runs, I was doing this to myself. It's great to be competitive but sometimes you just need to listen to your body and run. After spending way too much money I was sitting in my car waiting for Tripp to get out of school reading Twitter when I came across Josh Cox tweet
"Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit" George Sheehan
This couldn't be anymore true! What was wrong with me I am in great shape, I love running I was just getting to myself this was stupid.
I picked up Tripp went home did a nice easy short run. No watch nothing just my nice 4.5 mile loop. Than tonight while the boys were wrestling I set out on my 10 miler. I put my Garmin on and promised myself I wouldn't look. Just run, run by feel, enjoy it who cares how slow or fast you run. The result???? It was the best run I have had in a long time. Just carefree and wonderful. I really do love everything about running! And want to know the funny thing? I ran it in the same time I always do! My body knows what the pace is, it wasn't slow at all. It was only different because I turned my head off and ran! I wasn't all worked up over anything. It was a cold, crisp, beautiful night and I enjoyed every mile of it! Sometimes I let my head rule everything. The races kind of frustrated me and I talked myself into thinking I'm not in as good of shape as I thought I was. The marathon is getting so close and I'll be honest I'm getting very scared! I've never run one before I always swore I wouldn't but now I am going to and not knowing what to expect was freaking me out. I've had a lot of issues with taking GU and drinks on my long runs so I told myself I was going to crash in the race. Let's be honest talk is cheap. I have been telling myself for so long now that I was going to run in the trials it's going to be awesome, no pressure on yourself just enjoy the experience. The truth is yes no one else has put pressure on me, but I have! I have a goal time and I want so badly to achieve it. But it's not the end all be all. There are four goals for this race.
1) Finish so you can call yourself a marathoner!
2) the acceptable time- you know the time you will run if not everything goes according to plan but you could run it on any given day
3)the realistic time- this is the one all of your training runs are pointing to. The time you will run if things go right.
4) the ultimate goal! Now this is the one I've only achieved at a few races.It's the time you put out there that you will hit if the running gods are on your side that day. EVERYTHING goes right and somehow you find this crazy extra gear.
I guess my point is I'm sure running is hard for everyone at some point. I'm sure even the girls at the top struggle from time to time with motivation, pressure or time issues. (Ok at least I hope!) I had a lot of people over this weekend for an awesome holiday party were I was asked several times "How do you do it? How do you run so hard? You make it look so easy" The truth is I have no idea how I do it and it is anything but easy! Even during the best opportunities it's a hard balance between family, kids, friends and running. The main thing is I really do LOVE running and I am so incredibly blessed with this opportunity to run in the OLYMPIC TRIALS! I can't even tell you the support I have from my community. All of my friends and family are excited for me! There is a chance I will have the most crowd support on race day so many friends and family members will be there! I even have that weeks vacation after the race with my brother/sister in law, nieces, brother and my amazing family to look forward to! I'm a VERY lucky girl!
So yes I am CRAZY! But now when I wake up tomorrow I will be excited to go run and the big race is getting so close!!!!!!! All in the span of a day I lost/gained, loved/hated, needed/dreaded and came to terms with running. I hope you all realize I am not being ungrateful I only wanted to share this with you so if you ever come to a point in life and you question why you are doing what you are doing that it's normal. And hey on the bright side I'm sure you aren't nearly as cray as me!!!!!!! :)
Do you remember what it was like when you first started running? Just go and run, no Garmin, no time, no goal just go and run. Let your mind wonder, run until you thought that was far enough. It felt SO good! After I qualified for the trials I became this crazy obsessed person! EVERY run was a concern for me. Even on easy days I would strap on my Garmin and watch it like a hawk. "What mile one was 5 seconds slower than the last time I ran this course, why does this slow pace hurt so much push harder, crap I'm not going fast enough". It started to be that I wanted to push every day. My easy days had to be the same pace or faster than the one before. Workouts were great! Slowly the mileage would increase, some days were doubles, long progression runs were so awesome! I didn't really see what I was doing to myself.
Than I got this awesome opportunity to go to Japan! I was so super excited, but at the same time I didn't want to change the race schedule I already had. Which ended up meaning that over the course of 3 weeks I would only be home for 9 days with my family. Of course they were supportive and as most runners know when you are feeling good you want to run every race you can make it to. When I would tell someone my schedule they would say wow how are you going to handle that? Even Scott kept reminding me non of these races are going to be PR's you are just going to have to reconcile that, this is marathon training. I pretended like I was ok with that but than I was disappointed in my time in Japan, I was pissed that I ended up getting sick in Vegas and only running a 1:16 and than there was XC. I actually wanted to contribute to the team this year. They all just nagged at me. At the same time the few days I was home I was so worried about making sure I was spending time with my family that I had myself on this nutty schedule. It got to a point that I would make sure I was at my first run at this time than lifting/core was at that time and my second run had to start at this time. Most days all of that would be within four hours. I knew it wasn't ideal but I didn't know how else to make it work. I would run a ten mile, lift and do core than have my second run within an hour from finishing my first. It was wearing me out. Than to top it off I was doing everything alone not because my friends didn't want to run but because I was being a nut.
While walking through Target shopping I was trying to figure this out in my head. How did I get here? As my friend Bri reminded me earlier this week "Remember how bad you wanted this, this was all you worked so hard for". I could look at the last page of Running Times and see the picture from the 2008 Olympic Marathon Trials and think "Wow that is so amazing look at those women" and not see that I was lucky enough this time to be one of the women in that race. I came up with I forgot how to LOVE running. Time, pace, distance, everything had become so much more important. I do want to point out this is no ones fault but my own. My coach wasn't the one pushing me to do this in fact he is more concerned with my recovery and workouts than the easy runs, I was doing this to myself. It's great to be competitive but sometimes you just need to listen to your body and run. After spending way too much money I was sitting in my car waiting for Tripp to get out of school reading Twitter when I came across Josh Cox tweet
"Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit" George Sheehan
This couldn't be anymore true! What was wrong with me I am in great shape, I love running I was just getting to myself this was stupid.
I picked up Tripp went home did a nice easy short run. No watch nothing just my nice 4.5 mile loop. Than tonight while the boys were wrestling I set out on my 10 miler. I put my Garmin on and promised myself I wouldn't look. Just run, run by feel, enjoy it who cares how slow or fast you run. The result???? It was the best run I have had in a long time. Just carefree and wonderful. I really do love everything about running! And want to know the funny thing? I ran it in the same time I always do! My body knows what the pace is, it wasn't slow at all. It was only different because I turned my head off and ran! I wasn't all worked up over anything. It was a cold, crisp, beautiful night and I enjoyed every mile of it! Sometimes I let my head rule everything. The races kind of frustrated me and I talked myself into thinking I'm not in as good of shape as I thought I was. The marathon is getting so close and I'll be honest I'm getting very scared! I've never run one before I always swore I wouldn't but now I am going to and not knowing what to expect was freaking me out. I've had a lot of issues with taking GU and drinks on my long runs so I told myself I was going to crash in the race. Let's be honest talk is cheap. I have been telling myself for so long now that I was going to run in the trials it's going to be awesome, no pressure on yourself just enjoy the experience. The truth is yes no one else has put pressure on me, but I have! I have a goal time and I want so badly to achieve it. But it's not the end all be all. There are four goals for this race.
1) Finish so you can call yourself a marathoner!
2) the acceptable time- you know the time you will run if not everything goes according to plan but you could run it on any given day
3)the realistic time- this is the one all of your training runs are pointing to. The time you will run if things go right.
4) the ultimate goal! Now this is the one I've only achieved at a few races.It's the time you put out there that you will hit if the running gods are on your side that day. EVERYTHING goes right and somehow you find this crazy extra gear.
I guess my point is I'm sure running is hard for everyone at some point. I'm sure even the girls at the top struggle from time to time with motivation, pressure or time issues. (Ok at least I hope!) I had a lot of people over this weekend for an awesome holiday party were I was asked several times "How do you do it? How do you run so hard? You make it look so easy" The truth is I have no idea how I do it and it is anything but easy! Even during the best opportunities it's a hard balance between family, kids, friends and running. The main thing is I really do LOVE running and I am so incredibly blessed with this opportunity to run in the OLYMPIC TRIALS! I can't even tell you the support I have from my community. All of my friends and family are excited for me! There is a chance I will have the most crowd support on race day so many friends and family members will be there! I even have that weeks vacation after the race with my brother/sister in law, nieces, brother and my amazing family to look forward to! I'm a VERY lucky girl!
So yes I am CRAZY! But now when I wake up tomorrow I will be excited to go run and the big race is getting so close!!!!!!! All in the span of a day I lost/gained, loved/hated, needed/dreaded and came to terms with running. I hope you all realize I am not being ungrateful I only wanted to share this with you so if you ever come to a point in life and you question why you are doing what you are doing that it's normal. And hey on the bright side I'm sure you aren't nearly as cray as me!!!!!!! :)
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
When did I become that runner?
A little over a year ago when I first started to feel like I was getting really competitive I went to race the Garden of the Gods 10 mile in Colorado Springs. The race itself was pretty awful and hard but it was after the race that I saw an older women in her 50's walking through the crowd who had pooped herself. At that point I looked at my family and made a promise that I would NEVER be that person. If I ever felt like I had to use the bathroom or throw up I would just stop and drop out of the race. This last weekend that all changed............
Before the half on Sunday I had been very worried about racing at night. I have a touchy stomach so I knew I had to be careful. My game plan was wake up a little late, get my morning run in, eat a late breakfast around 11-11:30 and than my normal coffee and bagel two hours pre race. After a lot of walking I ended up eating at Max Brenner in Caesars Palace (PS finding a healthy place to eat in Vegas is a chore). I decided on an omellette with cheese, veggies and some potatoes. Half way through the meal I didn't feel great and had to force myself to finish my food: which is odd for me lately. During the last 6 weeks of marathon training I have been a human garbage disposal., but I chalked it up to nerves and finished the meal. I spent the rest of the day walking around a little and although I should have gotten off my feet I was a bit sick to my stomach and figured walking would keep my legs loose and calm my nerves. At least I thought that's what it was.
I made it through the day and proceeded to the start early to get my coffee, bagel and bib. This should have been my next clue of what was to come. I couldn't force myself to finish my coffee and all of you who know me know I could normally drink pots and pots of it. But again I chalked it up to nerves. I knew I wasn't nervous for the race as it was only the first half of my workout for the weekend and a good text of fitness for the trials. I was however nervous about getting my bib. The Rock n Roll races are always just so big and I usually have my stuff well before race start, but I got in to late saturday night to get to the expo. Sunday at the start was my only option. When I first talked to Matt (the awesome elite coordinator) he assured me it wouldn't be an issue, but again those of you who know me know I am a worrier. Once I found the solutions tent I started to calm down. The staff was so helpful I got my bib and was walked over to the VIP tent to wait the next 1 1/2 hours to race start. This is where Rock n Roll does an amazing job! Like I said it was a cold night and we were set up with heaters, restrooms, coffee, tea, and food.
Before I knew it it was time to warm up and here was my final sign of what was to come. I even said out loud "Man I still don't feel great I feel like I might throw up" Again I thought even though this is a no pressure race its normal to get jittery. Luckily we had Matt to walk us over to the start because I can't describe to you the mess that was the crowd of runners and spectators. As we got ready to roll I caught up with Mattie Suver an awesome runner I met in Philly. Both of us were just using Vegas as a "workout" and hadn't cut back during the week as we were in the bulk of our marathon build up. We talked about going out in a conservative 5:45ish which made me feel good. Running a half is so much easier together and having someone with the same goal calmed me.
Somehow we all made it to the start although not all together it was crazy. Shortly after the coolest national anthem I have ever heard at a race we were off and running. I went out in a pace I felt comfortable in jostling for position in the first mile for an open spot. I noticed a lot of girls in front and around me who are close to my ability so I felt good. We got to the first mile a little faster than I had planned (5:26)but it felt east so I didn't worry. The next few miles clipped off great. You know the races you have when you don't even look at your watch for splits you just hit the split button and keep on going? My legs felt amazing given the high mileage I had for the week and I was confident. That was soon going to come to an end. I got into this nice pack of five women shortly after the 5k and we were just steadily picking people off. Around 5-6 mile my stomach started to feel really quesy so I slowed just a tad tried to burp it out and kept plugging along. I could still see the pack I was good and well ahead of WO pace. I just couldn't get the feeling to go away so I thought one of two things you are either pushing too hard, these girls are awesome or you just ate too much today, don't worry the feeling will go away soon.Between mile 8-9 I knew I was gonna throw up. I desperately didn't want to slow and lose my position so I tried throwing up on the run. This my friends is when I realized I had become THAT runner. The one who would keep going at all costs, pooping, vomit non of it mattered. I wanted to stay on pace. Plus I figured once I threw up I would be fine. Unfortunately throwing up on the run must be a skill I don't have it ended up bending me over. It was pretty quick and painless so I kept on running. I caught back up to the girl I had been running with and thought I was going to be fine.
Soon I left the girl and was picking a lot of guys off but I still wasn't feel very good. I just couldn't get my stomach to cooperate. For a moment around 12 I though I am gonna have to drop out of this race I can't stop and throw up again I have already wasted enough time. Than I remembered back to my DNF at Mt Sac. That was the worst feeling I have ever had. I was going to finish this race no matter what. I don't care if I end up running a 90 minute half. Needless to say I was within a quarter mile of the finish and I couldn't control it this time I REALLY had to throw up. I stopped and was there for a good amount of time, it seemed like I was throwing up for an eternity! A medical guy came over to see if I was ok and being stubborn I just shrugged him off. In the process of throwing up 4 girls ran past me. I noticed every single one and as soon as I could stand back up I took off in as much of a sprint as I could muster. I managed to pass a couple but just couldn't get back to the other two. I crossed the finish line and must have looked like hell (or I was called in from the medical people on the course. Someone needs to make sure the crazy girl f14 is ok :) ) because the medical people were all over me trying to hold me. I told them I was fine. Honestly I was just more upset that I gad just had a great opening race and than all the throw up ruined the race as well as my pretty new racing flats! I still just assumed it must have been something I ate. Sadly I felt horrible on the cool down so had to cut it short, went back to grab my stuff and decided I needed the air so I was going to walk back to my hotel 3 miles away. I am very lucky I didn't get arrested because I had to stop and throw up in trash cans on my way to the hotel. People probably thought I was just really drunk. Sadly I spent the rest of my time in Vegas sick. Not exactly what I had planned and I was more upset that being sick was causing me to miss the second half of my workout Monday morning as I couldn't even get out of bed to walk, eat or drink without getting sick. Than my trip only got worse when I got to the airport and my flight was cancelled. I t meant I had to stay at the airport until almost 10 pm take a flight to LA, sleep there and hope to get on a flight Tuesday morning so I could make it to my son's play. This was turning out to be the worst trip I had ever taken!!!
Now that I am home and have had time to reflect on the race and weekend I have a lot of thoughts. First and foremost I am freaked out that 34 days from the trials I missed a couple of key days including a workout and some high mileage. I've never run a marathon before and all of a sudden I feel really unprepared and scared. I know it's silly given I am in great shape but missing a week is so scary this close! Second I am most proud of this race out of all the races I have EVER run. No it wasn't a PR, far from it actually, but I proved a lot to myself. I know that come Jan 14th there is going to be a time when I want to throw up I learned how to run through it. But I am most proud that I finished! I felt horrible throwing up and running and I feel like this was a point in my running that I realized I am a real competitor! I will give it everything I have! I still did ok I finished 10th in a really stacked field and my time wasn't horrible 1:16:15. I'm very proud of myself for being strong and gutting through it. Now I have two days home before I am off to Clubs and I am hoping this race will go a lot better :)
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